The first weeks of being a Mummy

I am Mummy! Wow! I am not sure that it has fully sunk in and we are now 3 weeks in. My baby boy is gorgeous and I still cannot believe he is our's! I just want to love him more and more each day. First of all, the birth: Wow! What an exciting and empowering experience we had! It was nothing like I dreamed of or how I wanted it to happen but God had other plans and my body took over and was stronger than I ever knew it could be. I look back at it now with such emotion and love. After being admitted to hospital with Pregnancy Induced Hypertension at 39 weeks! (I was doing so well!) they decided to induce me. I was scared but knew it was for the best. Though our little man was not fully ready to appear and he was cosy inside me he did so well and labour progressed quicker than I imagined. It took 24 hours from when they gave me the first tablet to our boy entering this world. After they broke my waters at 9am we had very intense contractions but Ezekiel arrived at 5pm! Perfect day for our midwives who got to be with us from the beginning to the end! I only used a Tens machine (they are just wonderful- well recommended!) and although exhausted it meant I remembered the whole experience. They did encourage me to use gas and air when 9cm as our boy's heart rate was dropping and so I had to resist the pushes until 10cm otherwise it was going to end in a C section, after all the breathing techniques and just using my Tens I never wanted it to end that way. God was so good and allowed me to birth naturally. It was wonderful! A great team of midwives and my Husband by my side was all I needed. My Hubby cut the cord and both of us saw at the same time what sex we had got as they placed our boy on my chest. Breathtaking! Life since has been a daze and crazy and totally exhausting. The first night home was so difficult and I was totally sleep deprived. I am exclusively breastfeeding and this for me has been more challenging than anything else so far.  Now our boy has picked up weight and I am less sore so I know Mama's milk is working and though he is totally dependent on me and it gets so overwhelming and we have had a few things go against us which could have stopped me from feeding him we are pushing on. It is still early days but I love that I can feed him! I am in awe of how it works, how our bodies are programmed, both mine and Ezekiel's, to do this and succeed! Though I also value formula feeding and have been very close to going down that route. All I do is surrender each day, my body and Ezekiel's to God! I can say life has changed forever, I have two amazing boys, my Hubby is just amazing and very supportive. Now nothing else matters to me in this world. My desires are no longer at the top of my list. If being a mother has taught me anything so far it is how to be totally selfless and patient! Very patient. I am not sure you can ever prepare for the first weeks of motherhood! But...I am excited for what it will bring, I know each child is a gift from God and totally unique and I look forward to seeing our little man grow and develop. Thank you Lord for entrusting us with this gift- I'll do all I can!