My journey towards Motherhood...

So I have been meaning to write something throughout my whole pregnancy so far, I wish some of my thoughts and feelings could be documented somehow! Because WOW...what an amazing and life changing year we have had and all I can do is praise God and thank Him for where I am today.

In August I married the most humble man I know and if that wasn't enough...we went to France for a beautiful honeymoon and came back with a lifetime souvenir and an incredible blessing...our Baby Willett! 👶🏼 Our first child! One we have prayed for, one we wanted yet one we never knew would arrive so soon! What a beautiful GIFT! To this day (34 weeks pregnant!) I still find it hard to believe we have created a human, an actual living being! I won't pretend the transition and all the changes have been a walk in the park but what they have taught me is that God has a plan for our lives containing way more than we ever knew would be possible! More than we can ever imagine! The tears, the worry and utter fear of knowing we are bringing a child into this world, a world that is far from perfect with so much wrongs yet this human is so "right" I have no idea how to deal with that. But then I remember...God already knows, He has a plan, He has a way even if there seems to be no way and we are all imperfect compared to Him. He protects, He provides and so I am utterly grateful for grace.

Every day I wake with a new feeling, a new thought, about the journey I am currently undertaking and the one ahead known as Motherhood! I am frightened yet excited, I have fear yet the love I have casts out all fear! I worry for our child each day and I am totally in love with them yet I haven't met them. I know many Mum's have probably gone through this process too but it just feels so incredible that I am in awe! I am in awe of women and how we have been fearfully and wonderfully made to carry and birth children, I am in awe of men, my husband, and how he has coped with the change so far, how he provides and how he believes that all will be more than just "ok". He holds my hand and tells me I'll be an amazing Mummy! and I am doing an incredible job carrying our baby yet I just feel like I am coping and getting on with it! Then I am struck with guilt and feel so undeserving because there are so many women in bodies that are made to carry a baby yet can't! I'm sorry...but I want you to know I pray for you everyday. I pray and thank God that I am blessed enough to have this honour and that he comforts those who can't with his unfailing love because the most important relationship to have is with the Father God! So on days when my back aches, or my heartburn is in full swing, or if my blood pressure has been a little high I just praise God and thank Him that at least I get the chance to carry and give life.

Right now...I am excited to bring our baby earth side, yes apprehensive, yes not knowing what to expect, and yes praying so much for a wonderful birth! But one thing I am for sure is GRATEFUL! Grateful for the feeling of our child kicking my ribs, grateful that although I may not look my best on the outside our child makes me feel like the most important woman ever because they need my body to keep growing and developing, they make me feel so beautiful even with a huge belly because l know my belly represents them and their beauty! so I don't care how big and uncomfortable I get because it means our child is growing and developing. I am not sure I have ever been so in love yet so scared without meeting the person I love so dearly but we live together 24-7 and soon I will look into our baby's eyes and know who has been kicking me, who has made me feel this rollercoaster of emotions and who is my most precious gift from God.

I write this not to show off, as none of this was me, but rather to show what God has done and is still doing in my life! So indeed I am scared but I hold it all up to God in prayer and believe He has the master plan. I also write this because one day I want to show my child and for them to read how incredible this time in my life is and for them to know they have a real purpose, a God given one, for being on this earth and so they know I truly love them with all my heart and for them to know how utterly fabulous they make me feel as a young Mummy to be!

I cannot wait to meet you Baby Willett! Thank you Jesus! 🙏